


Three's Never a Crowd

by BloodandGlitter



Category: Saints Row
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking & Talking, Drunk Sex, F/F, F/M, Masturbation, Multi, Oral Sex, Porn With a Poor Excuse for a Plot, Shameless Smut, Smut, Sorry Not Sorry, Swearing, Threesome, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 05:08:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8388484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodandGlitter/pseuds/BloodandGlitter
Summary: Shaundi and the Boss decide to have a booze-fueled chat. One thing leads to another and Matt Miller can't believe his luck.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a Gat girl, but for some reason I can't stop writing smut about Miller. Enjoy! I named my boss Kate to make writing a bit easier.

“You’ve got to pick one!” Shaundi protested as she leant over to slap her boss on the arm, nearly toppling over.

“But I can’t! It would be like incest or something.” Kate was starting to slur her words. She peered into her beer bottle and found that, to her dismay, it was empty.

The women were sitting cross-legged on the control room floor surrounded by alcohol containers. They had an evening to kill on the ship and felt they were long overdue a catch-up. Of course, this wasn’t your typical girly gossip session; booze and violence were at the top of their agenda. It didn’t take long before the topic turned to sex.

“I’ll get you another beer if you tell me which of the Saints you’d most like to fuck!” Shaundi pleaded. In reality, she was as pissed as the Boss, and neither of them would successfully make it to the fridge.

Kate fell onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She had started to see two Shaundis and thought she’d give her brain a rest. That didn’t mean she didn’t want another drink, though.

“Well... I always thought Johnny would be a good fuck.” Kate pondered. “I reckon he’s a real romantic once you prise the SMGs from his hands.”

Shaudi started to cackle.

“Gat! Really?! That would be so fucking awkward. And I don’t believe he’s packing 8 inches.”

“Well who would you screw then?” Kate asked defensively, looking hurt.

“Probably Keith. Could you imagine? He’s got so many stories to tell. You can say you’ve fucked the Vice President of the United States.”

“Yeah, my Vice President,” Kate added.

“But who else is there? Ben King is way too intense. Pierce is like a brother to me and CID doesn’t even have a body. I know there’s Kinzie and Asha but you can’t beat a decent cock.”

“What about Matt?”

The girls looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Oh my God. Could you imagine? _Oh yeah, right there NyteBlayde. Shit I mean Boss_ ,” Shaundi’s British accent was even worse when she was drunk.

“But you’ve gotta admit, there’s something quite hot about his naivety. Would be easy to fuck that out of him.” Kate said, glancing over at her friend. “Although you’d eat him alive.”

“No I wouldn’t! Well yeah, I would. We both would. It would probably be pretty fun.”

There was a pause before the Boss spoke again.

“Hey, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Kate sat up to find room spinning less than it was 30 minutes ago.

“...that we could murder some Freckle Bitch’s right now?” Shaundi offered.

“Don’t be a dumb shit. Look: we’re both bored and haven’t had a fuck since those bastards destroyed the Earth. Miller is so fucking frustrated he could be used as fuel for this ship. See where I’m going..?”

Shaundi’s eyes widened. A smile escaped the corner of her mouth.

“So what do you want to do? Just go over and proposition him? Hey Matt, wanna fuck?”

Kate’s face lit up as she suggested both her best and worst plan to date.

“Let’s go and fuck on his couch! Then he’ll see us and we’ll invite him to join in!”

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Shaundi stood up, stumbled, then stabilised herself on a desk. “So many fucking questions! One... What if someone else sees us?”

“No one ever goes back there, you know that. We agreed it would be his own private space so we didn’t have to listen to those NyteBlayde repeats.”

“Okay. Two... Isn’t he going to ask why we’ve decided to fuck on his couch?”

“Are you serious? The virgin sees two naked girls and wants to know why we’re sitting on his laptop?”

“Fine. But the most important question...” Shaudi took a step closer to her boss. “Why do we have to fuck each other?”

“C’mon. How many sex parties have we been to together? What about that time I paid for those hookers and that hot guy showed up?”

Shaundi could feel her face getting hotter as she blushed. “Yes, Boss, but we’ve never been _alone_ together.”

Kate placed her arms over her friend’s shoulders and stared into her hazel eyes. Even in space Shaundi had managed to maintain her sun-kissed olive skin, perfectly complementing her wavy, chestnut brown tresses. The tall Saints leader was a stark contrast, with alabaster skin, green eyes and violet hair scraped into a ponytail.

The Boss had never been ashamed of her bisexuality. She knew that Shaundi was hot, but could never see her as more than a good friend. That didn’t mean they couldn’t have fun every now and again, however. Back in Stilwater Shaundi was more of a wild-child and could barely keep track of the guys she was dating. She always had stories of threesomes and orgies, but they were either to impress a boyfriend or because she was off her face. Occasionally Kate or other gang members would be involved, although it was seldom spoken of the next morning. It never meant anything and she was as sure as hell it wouldn’t tonight either.

  
“I know pussy isn’t your thing, but it won’t be for long. Won’t it be worth it to see the look on Miller’s face when we take his V-Card?”

Shaundi nodded and giggled as they stumbled towards Matt’s lounge.

 

***

 

Shaundi scooped up magazines from the couch, discarded them onto the floor and sat down. She started to unzip her space suit.

“Right, 15 minutes. If he doesn’t turn up by then we’re stopping.” She instructed.

“You won’t be saying that once I’ve got hold of you,” Kate mumbled as she climbed onto her friend’s lap and pressed her lips to hers. After a few seconds she watched as Shaundi closed her eyes and relaxed into the kiss, letting her tongue move over her teeth and into her mouth.

The Boss moved the zip further down and gently started exploring her friend’s breasts. Large and firm but with soft skin and pink, hard nipples, Kate could feel herself getting wet as she continued to play with them.

“God, your tits are fantastic,” she sighed whilst removing the suit from Shaundi’s shoulders to expose more skin. She kissed her neck, down to her chest and navel, then slipped her hand into her underwear. A moan escaped Shaundi’s lips and she circled her clit. “You feel amazing, but I’ve got to taste you.”

Kate yanked off the rest of her crew member’s clothing and separated her thighs. She was greeted by her glistening pink pussy, and wasted no time in running her tongue up and down her slit. Shaundi’s legs started to twitch under her Boss’s control as she writhed in pleasure.

“Hang on, I’m too dressed for this,” Kate noticed. She stepped out of her suit and kicked it over to the other side of the room. Getting back onto her knees, she placed one finger in herself and continued to kiss and lick her friend.

Suddenly they heard a door shut.

“What the hell is going on?”

Both women snapped their heads round to find a startled Matt standing over them, looking even more pale than usual.

“Wow, that was quicker than I thought,” the Boss whispered as they both giggled.

“What did you just say?”

“I mean... Oh no, you weren’t meant to see this!” Kate tried to feign surprise, which is a lot harder with alcohol in your system. “Don’t look!”

Matt’s expression turned from shocked to concerned. They watched as his eyes wandered over their bodies.

“Then why aren’t you moving? Have you two been drinking?”

“We, uh...” Out the corner of her eye, Kate saw Shaundi start to move her fingers over her clit. Matt’s face reddened as he shuffled on the spot. She realised he was trying to hide something.

“Look, you’ve got two options. Either run away and continue jerking off to your fan-fiction, or fuck us.” The Boss raised her eyebrows at Shaundi’s brazen attitude. At least it was straight to the point.

Matt’s eyes narrowed. She could see that he was weighing up how likely this was to be a trap. To be fair, how embarrassing would it be if they were undercover Zin and he was caught with his pants round his ankles?

Kate walked over to him and placed her hands on his chest. She slowly removed his scarf and brushed the dark hair away from his face, revealing his powder blue eyes.

“I know this must seem daunting,” she whispered in his ear. “But that’s part of the fun. Just come and fuck our brains out.”

The Boss moved her hand down to his crotch. Through the fabric of the suit she could feel how hard he was, and a gentle rub caused his breathing to quicken as he tensed up. Their lips met - although the kiss was clumsy at first, Matt took Kate by surprise by running his hand through her hair and down her back. She could feel his bottom lip quivering. Grabbing him by the collar, she threw him onto the couch. Shaundi assisted in pulling his suit down to his ankles so he was naked, panting, and fully erect in front of them.

“I didn’t expect you to have such a beautiful cock, Miller,” Kate purred as she got to her knees. His eyes widened as he watched her lick his shaft and suck on his head. Whilst she was between his legs Shaundi mounted him and pressed her breasts to his face.

“I bet you’ve been gagging to play with a real pair of tits,” she breathed. Matt teased her nipples as he moaned and kissed them. “And please slow your breathing down. We don’t want you passing out on us.”

“Oh FUCK!” He shrieked. He was so focused on his crew mate's chest that he hadn’t seen the Boss re-position behind her and sit on his cock. The tight, wet, warm feeling - completely new to him - made him feel like he was going to melt into the couch. Shaundi kissed him aggressively as he enjoyed Kate’s ass slam against his groin.

“What about me?” Shaundi turned around and asked her boss. She didn’t anticipate that Kate would force Miller to sit up and then push her onto her back, picking up where she left off. This time she wasn’t going to protest.

Matt stood up and started stroking himself, eyes fixed on the sight of his boss pleasuring the hottest girl on the ship. His hand movements quickened as he watched Shaundi shut her eyes and start to moan.

“That’s it. Make her come,” he gasped, sweat trickling down his back.

“I’m planning to. But you’ve got to come and fuck me again,” Kate instructed, raising her pelvis and inviting him in. Matt climbed onto the couch and entered her from behind, quickly building up speed as he rammed himself into her. His fingers were digging into her hips. He watched the show the girls were putting on for him intently.

It wasn’t long before Shaundi was crying out as she orgasmed. Matt could see the Boss lick and nibble at her clit whilst her whole body spasmed underneath her. He focused on his breathing to suppress the urge to come.

“That. Was. Amazing.” Shaundi panted. “But seriously, I need a fuck now. Miller, get onto your back again.”

Matt willfully obliged and couldn’t resist grinning as she climbed onto his cock. She was just as tight as the Boss, and her breasts bounced up and down as she rode him.

Kate smiled herself as she sat on his face. Her smell was intoxicating. He used his hands and mouth to explore her folds, to taste her wetness. Once he found her clit he circled it with his tongue and grabbed her ass with his hands. He felt her pussy tighten and couldn’t bear it any longer; he had to let go.

Matt groaned as a heat spread throughout his body and he emptied himself into Shaundi. He continued to lick Kate’s slit as his cock pulsed with pleasure from the greatest orgasm he’d ever had. Both women were moaning his name as they enjoyed watching him come. Suddenly he felt lightheaded, and everything went black.

 

***

 

Silence.

Matt opened his eyes to the darkened room. He leant over and switched on a lamp, revealing the sticky emissions he’d left over his abs and right hand. He grabbed a handful of tissues from the side and cleaned himself up. His cock was starting to soften as he pulled his pants back up. He glanced around and this time, thankfully, he hadn’t appeared to get anything on his sheets. They always made jibes about how often he washed his bedding. And God forbid if any of them had just heard his solo session.

“That was amazing. Maybe one day...” He muttered to himself before rolling over and falling asleep.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ...I make no apologies.


End file.
